Carole Smith

So, I signed up to run a half-marathon this May and I think I am having a change of heart.  The question that keeps popping up in the back of my mind... What are you running from? Now, if I was a runner, I'm pretty sure my thoughts would be What are you running towards?  And in turn, I would have quick and easy answers like a goal, a finish line, a time, better health.  But I am not a runner.  My body was not made for running longer distances.  I have to MAKE myself do every run.  What I lack in my running abilities I doubly make-up for in my competitiveness and in my drive.  Ironically enough it was ME who said YES to this half-marathon.  I was the one that convinced my two girlfriends we could do this.  I convinced myself.  Sure I could do this, I did it before in 2009.  Sure I could do this, especially because I just turned 40.  Sure I could do this... my friends are thinking they can, so if they can then I certainly can. The problem is, I was a totally different per

I recently read a line in a book that has been churning around in my brain, you know, in that spot that processes things you had no intention of ever really thinking about again... "Sharing the struggles of life and death united even enemies, it was said." Sharing - Struggles - Life - Death - United - Enemies... each one of those words alone can evoke a strong memory, but when you put them together to form a concise thought...powerful! I have shared the struggles of life in one of the most intimate of ways throughout all of my tender childhood days into adulthood - with my sister.  And together we shared the months of our father's failing health that led to his final days, and eventual death.  We sat on opposite sides of his bed, watching him gasp for his final breaths of life. But for us, these struggles, of life and death proved to be too much.  The pain in our past cultivated separation and competition and deep feelings of misplaced hurt.  Instead of uniti

On this cold, wet, gray Monday morning, as I return home from dropping off my two grade-schoolers, I contemplate crawling back into my bed and pulling the covers securely around me.  I have a desperate need to shut out all that is waiting for me... no, change that, screaming for me, to take care of.  My home.... the bills...my own expectations of whom I should be.... My thoughts drift to my bank account.  I have the responsibility of one small account, to buy our groceries, gas for my car, the dog's food, fun for me, the kids, and our family.  There are still 5 days until payday and I need gas and dog food, and a little more groceries... but my account is overdrawn. I drift through my home on my way to the computer and notice the dirty clothes piled-up and strewn about the floors.  They have been dropped, on the spot, where they were discarded for a new set of clean ones for the day.  The beds are unmade, my 8 year olds lies in the corner of our front room, he has abandoned

~ I tried to reach you today ...no one was home. ~ I got a new a cell phone today.   They were unable to transfer my contact information.   I had to go in and manually add all of the names and numbers into my new phone.   I thought this was going to be a good idea anyway because I had a lot of numbers stored for people that I didn’t call anymore. Then I came across my Dad’s number.   This made me stop and think… for a moment.   I remember that before he died I updated his wife’s phone number into her own contact.   I couldn’t keep the three numbers straight between hers, his and their home.   Then I seemed to recall that they cancelled their home phone and went wireless only.   I thought about calling his number.   Maybe it would still be working.   Maybe I would hear his voice.   I hadn’t tried to call his phone since he died.   I think I remember that the voicemail was recorded by my step-brother, and not in my dad’s voice… I dial the number.   I feel my gut tighte

I am struggling with fear today as I approach my 8 year old son's first minor surgery tomorrow...  Are you struggling with a fear today too?... I am learning in my life when I feel the tentacles of fear start to stir in my gut; when those cold fingers start to make their way up my spine and weave themselves into my heart and mind that I MUST turn to the Lord! And so today, I choose to meditate on His words: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 I do not know what tomorrow holds for my life.  But I do know that I will trust the Lord, my God, with all of my heart, with all my soul and with all of mind.  And because of this, everything will be alright!                                                                                                                                                                

Imagine… intention. To live, breath, love, feel, wake, dream, believe… Speak, write dance play… Run, eat, teach, parent, praise… To be still… Imagine all… With intention. ~Carole A. Smith