Carole Smith

There is beauty in this LIGHT The Spirit stirs me to BEHOLD… I am not a Warrior. I am not an Agent of Change. I am not anything ...   This is God’s economy at work: I go to comfort… But leave comforted. I go to those who are weary… And discover my own weariness. I go to give… And end up receiving. I am poor in spirit. I am mourning. I am meek. I am hungry. I am thirsty. And in ALL this weakness… In my vulnerability In my emptiness In my brokenness In my lack… When I am in Community, I am full, I am complete. THIS is why I pray, …In the LIGHT. ~Carole Smith April 2015

~ You held me within you. I was from you -of you -a part of you. But the day I came into this world, you gave me to the world. You left me… to make me better. But you left me to wonder of a mother’s love …and of my worth. ~ October 21, 1971.   I was born to a woman I wouldn’t meet again until I was 33, because the day I was born she gave me away. Although I do not remember anything about my biological mother, I am convinced my psyche must have been deeply wounded as a newborn.   After I found her, she revealed to me the social worker let her hold me one time in secret, as any direct contact between the mother and the child being given up was strictly forbidden by the nuns who dually served as the nurses in the hospital maternity ward.   I can feel, in my soul, the gut-wrenching sadness of holding her baby for the first and last time all at once.   I can feel, on my face, her hot tears, anointing me with her pain.   I can hear, in my heart, the an