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I found my Mom's heart at Happy Hour




I made up with my Mom today.

Sure, she is 78 years old, and she is struggling with her health.  She doesn't feel good right now.

She has been a guest in my home for 8 days now.  Her last visit was over a year and a half ago.

She is edgy.  She is crabby.  She is down-right mean.

I had finally been shoved enough.  I have a threshold for undercutting, biting words.  I still have a childlike need for acceptance from her.  I have not been getting any of the later and more than my fair share of the other.  I lost my cool and my temper four days ago, and have struggled to find it.  I have looked everywhere in my home, but all I find is her.  And so I leave.  Seems to be an annoyingly hard pattern of mine to break.  When the tough gets going I fight first, then flight second.

My mom's love language, I just realized today, is quality time.

I discovered this when I took her out on a date... to Happy Hour.
We left the kids and my husband at home, and we spent 2 hours together.
Neutral territory.
A pomegranate margarita for me.

I told her things she had never known about me from over 10 years ago.
She listened.
She didn't criticize.
She told me about her home growing up and her mother.
I listened.
And I smiled.

We finished the evening off by sharing a Sticky-cookie and a scenic drive around the surrounding areas of my home.

I made up with my Mom today, by simply loving her with my time.




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Comments

  1. Denise DilleyJune 18, 2012 at 9:05 PM

    Just being there & listening can make a world of difference. I need to remember that in my own relationships. I'm glad you were able to have that time with your mom today. Praying that the two of you will have more days like today.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tina Fariss BarbourJune 22, 2012 at 10:28 AM

    This resonated with me because it mirrored my own relationship with my mother in a lot of ways. My mother can be mean and critical, and she helped make me miserable as a child. It's hard to let that stuff go. But you seemed to have the right idea in spending some time with your mom.

    I enjoy your blog!

    ReplyDelete

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