My
mom and dad could not have children, according to Doctors. After 16 years of marriage and no children of
their own, they decided to adopt. First
came my sister born and adopted two and half years before me. Then they adopted me. Within the first month of being welcomed into
my new family, my mom had a doctor’s appointment because she was not feeling
well. It turns out she did not feel
well because she was almost five months pregnant. Mom said that she was laughing and crying at
the same time upon hearing the news.
Tears of disbelief and terror – how on earth was she pregnant? The doctors had told her for over twenty
years she would never be able to conceive children. How was she going to manage three babies ages
four and under? Laughing for the sheer
joy of being pregnant and the irony of the whole situation. I have yet to laugh and cry at the same time
in my life… and have found myself throughout life reflecting upon what it must be
like to actually feel such intense emotions that elicit a dual physical
response.
My
brother was born in April of 1972. I was
only six months older, practically twins I would imagine it felt like to my
parents. I have very few memories from
this time period in my life from birth to three and a half years old. Only one vivid memory of all of us together, my
mom, dad, brother and sister, on a lazy weekend morning in my parents bed –
laughing. I question myself if this is
even truth, or something I constructed so that I could have one cherished
memory of our family together, all of us, in love with each other and together…
before my dad left us.
... More to come! Excerpts taken from book I am writing:
... More to come! Excerpts taken from book I am writing:
After They Leave, Who Will Love Me?
A Memoir of struggle to find love after adoption, divorce and death
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